Quizzes Overview

We recognize that marriage is only between a man and a woman. It must be based solely on love. Neither the insistence of parents nor prophetic messages are a valid basis for marriage. The family union consists of individuals who are of the state-mandated age of consent and have registered their union through the appropriate government faculties. The church blesses (marries), only those couples that have been water baptized and are in a covenant with the Lord, just as it is written: โ€œโ€ฆ(she is) free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:39).โ€ Pre-marriage counseling courses are also a prerequisite for marriage. This is due to the fact that, as a church, we strive to ensure that the bride and groom have received the maximum amount of knowledge relating to the spiritual principles of building a successful family. That serves to simply help them avoid as many mistakes as possible in their future together. These courses take place in person, but online courses are available as well for extenuating circumstances. If the couple has not gone through this counseling prior to marriage, the ministers have the right to refuse to perform the marriage ceremony.

This course is especially useful for those young couples who reside in separate cities or states and communicate with each other primarily via phone or the Internet. This course provides you with convenient and effective tools to prepare for an exciting life and a happy marriage.โ€

In order to utilize all of the features of this application (save your notes, see your partnerโ€™s notes, receive counseling, etc.), you must register on the website.

Basics of Marriage

There are few decisions that are as important as marriage. You marry a person to live together โ€œtill death, us do partโ€ sharing everything you have: your time, your money, your abilities, your body, everything. There is no part of your life you can save for yourself. You two become โ€œone fleshโ€. This gives people the greatest happiness they could ever experience and, unfortunately, in many other cases, the greatest pain and suffering. Some say that marriage can be heaven on the earth or living hell. Many people gave up to think about marriage as an option. They prefer rather to suffer loneliness than to risk in marital life.

Youโ€™ve decided to take the course in order to be more ready for your marriage. Itโ€™s a good decision. At least, while doing the tests you will put a solid foundation for your future relationships. Every married couple discuss a lot of issues. Some of them canโ€™t find solutions which satisfy both partners. For many discussion means conflict, fierce arguing, offencive words, calling names. Eventually, they stop talking to each other at all. This course is intended to help you to understand each other, to share with each other your real thoughts, to find a solution for even the most disputed questions. Have been learned the art of marital talk, youโ€™ll be able to live together happily in any life conditions โ€œtill death you do partโ€.

Love In Marriage

Bible about love

Read the following excerpts from the Scripture. What is the main idea of every one of them? Try to combine all you know from these verses in a paragraph describing love from a Biblical perspective.

Proverbs 17:17; Matt. 22:37โ€“39; Luke 6:27-35; Luke 10:25-37; John 3:16; John 13:34; Romans 13:8-10; Romans 14:15; Gal. 6:2; Gal. 5:13; Ephes. 4:2; Ephes. 5:2-3; Ephes. 5:25; 1 Peter 4:8;

What if love is gone?

Nick and Julie got married two years ago. They loved each other so much that despite all their friendsโ€™ jokes and parentsโ€™ warnings, they wholeheartedly believed that their love will never fail. Unfortunately, later they realized that their passion was not strong as it used to be, the excitement of feelings faded, and they didnโ€™t enjoy each otherโ€™s company as before. Nick stays longer at work, they spend week-ends separately: he goes fishing, she goes shopping. He even noticed that other women look more attractive than his wife.

Julie feels angry at her husband again and again. Sometimes she keeps bitterness against Nick for weeks. They start thinking that their marriage is a mistake. They are close to the idea that divorce is the best solution for the situation when they do not feel love to each other.

Expectations

Every individual entering marriage has certain expectations in regard to family life. These expectations are formed under the influence of many factors โ€” parents of your future spouse, values, society, books, hearsay, your own considerations, etc. Itโ€™s very important to sit down and discuss what expectations both individuals have in regard to their future marriage, whether or not these expectations are realistic, and what must be done in case these expectations do not reflect reality. The word โ€œexpectationโ€ hints at hope. Hope is defined by an expectation of something positive. Hope is necessary because it inspires and often supports us.

The following exercise will require some time and reflection. List ten examples of things you expect from your future spouse. These descriptions can be brief or exhaustive. For example, the husband may expect his wife to open the door for him when he comes back from work, to always stay at home and never work, and provide sex on demand. The wife may expect her husband to come with her to visit her parents, to be the familyโ€™s spiritual leader, and to stay home on the weekends.

Family Legacy

Our expectations are often determined by our upbringing, where were raised, and our previous experiences.
In the following table, various characteristics of family life are listed. Indicate how true they are in regard to the family in which you were brought up.
Family atmosphere
We made decisions together
We freely expressed our feelings with others in the family
We had free choice and the opportunity to learn from our own mistakes
Others cared about what I had to say and made an effort to understand me
All members of the family were equals
I was allowed to do what I wanted
I feared my father
I feared my mother
I had conflicts with my family members
I felt awkward around my family members
Choose the appropriate description depending on how you felt during your life with your family.

Values and Goals

Values determine how people actually live. However, religious beliefs do not always determine peopleโ€™s values. Therefore, it is impossible to say whether a person truly values a relationship with God or the ministry of the church, even if he is a Christian. It is also impossible to be confident that the person values other peopleโ€™s time until we confirm that he is not late and completes tasks on time. A lot can be said about people from the way they spend their free time, what they spend their money on, and what they place first on their list of priorities.

It is advisable for spouses to practice the same system of values. Differences certainly will remain, even if only because of gender. But if the main values of the spouses are opposite โ€“ a happy marriage in such a case is impossible.

Values also determine the goals which we aspire to achieve. The objective of this topic is to help you find out each otherโ€™s goals and values, develop common goals, and to imagine how to achieve them together.

Marriage Roles

The uncertainty over the roles of husband and wife in a relationship remain the primary cause for the failure of a marriage. Spouses enter into endless arguments and fighting. However, each couple should discuss and decide together upon who should most competently resolve which task in the home. This should not necessarily be determined in the same way as your parents have, according to how it is done in your social sphere, or according to the tradition of your people (background?). It is necessary for each couple to identify rules and a methodology of behavior in their relations as husband and wife.

According to me, in a marriage, a role is..
My primary role in marriage is..
I have come to this conviction regarding my role in marriage as a result ofโ€ฆ
Role of my husband/wifeโ€ฆ
A womanโ€™s roles in a marriage are as followsโ€ฆ
A manโ€™s roles in a marriage are as followsโ€ฆ

Making Decisions

Which of the spouses makes decisions? According to 1 Cor. 11:3, the responsibility of making decisions lies on the head, or the husband. However, does this mean that the husband should single-handedly make decisions regarding all issues, including those in which he is less competent than the wife? A wise leader turns to the help of specialists in areas in which he is inadequately versed. It is possible that the problem is not even in who should make decisions, but rather who is most competent in dealing with the issue at hand.

Who most frequently made decisions in the family in which you grew up?

Are you able to determine the difference between important and less important decisions? If so, what are you guided by?

How would you resolve a situation of deadlock when it is nevertheless necessary to make a decision?

How do you resolve questions regarding responsibility of upkeep of the household?

In which areas of family life do you have the right to make a decision without first consulting your spouse? Who suggested this right and how did you come to such a decision?

Relationship with Parents

You are standing on the threshold of a legal formalization of your relations. (Yes, this concept relates to your children and to your relationship with the parents of your future spouse as well). What does the term โ€œparentsโ€ mean to you? Write your own definition of this term and share it with your fiancรฉ.

What examples of relationships with parents do we find in the Holy Scriptures? Read the following three passages and ask yourself the following question: โ€œHow would I behave if I was in the same situation?โ€

Describe an ideal relationship with oneโ€™s parents, from your point of view.

What kind of relationship, in your opinion, do your parents and the parents of your fiancรฉ consider ideal?

Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Mark 10:7-8; Eph. 5:31 โ€“ all these passages discuss the same topic. What does the word โ€œleaveโ€ mean for you?

Communication

Communication has the same value for love that blood has for the life of an individual. Have you ever contemplated this? In his book โ€œLove in Marriage,โ€ Ed Wheat provides a radical statement: โ€œBetrayal kills thousands of marriages and silence, tens of thousands.โ€

Any relationship is impossible without communication. You and your future spouse should know about this and this should also determine your relationship with God. How would you identify the word โ€œcommunication?โ€ What definition does this word hold for you? Write your definition here. After you have finished this test, donโ€™t forget to look at your partnerโ€™s test also.

Now, what does the term โ€œlistenโ€ mean to you? If there is any baggage necessary for a young couple for the beginning of their life together, then this baggage needs to become โ€œcommunication with each other, which they should support at any price.โ€

Married life may be compared to a large, multi-room residence, which the newlyweds enter on the day of marriage. They hope to use these rooms and rejoice together if the house is comfortable, and then they can accomplish much in their life together. However, in many marriages, the doors to some rooms remain lockedโ€”these rooms represent different areas of the relationship which the couple cannot enter and live in together. Attempts at opening these doors lead to failures and disappointment. The spouses cannot find a suitable key. Therefore, they are required to limit themselves with only several rooms, which can be easily unlocked, leaving different rooms with their promising possibilities locked and unused.

However, a special key exists, which opens all doors. It is not easily found, or rather, spouses must forge it together, which is a reasonably difficult task. This great art is effective spousal communication.

Let us examine another aspect of communication. While communicating, we exchange specific information. Each one of our messages consists of three components: words, tone of voice, and nonverbal information. We can convey much additional information while saying the same exact word, statement, or question by changing our tone of voice and using nonverbal components. Nonverbal means of communication include our facial expression, pose, gestures, and movement. A situation that may be brought as an example of nonverbal communication which should be avoided is holding a book out in front of you while speaking with the other person.

Conflict Resolution

Have you ever faced conflicts in your relationship? If not, then you will be surprised at the following statement. Conflict โ€“ reality of life. It can be categorized as a strike, argument, or a sharp clash of interests, thoughts, etc. Why do conflicts occur? The answer is simple โ€“ we are all imperfect people whom God loves by His mercy, despite our imperfections. Each one of us has our own desires, interests, needs and goals, and if we encounter ones that are opposite, then conflict arises. We are people of different beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Conflicts on their own are not the problem โ€“ the problem consists of our attitude and reaction toward them.

In many cases, disputes and conflicts do not require a full resolution. Disagreements regarding political views may serve as an example. This type of disagreement can continue for an undetermined period of time and unnecessarily leads to a collapse of spousal relations.

List some topics regarding which you and your fiancรฉ/e have disputes, but which do not require mandatory resolution.

What does โ€œfull resolutionโ€ mean to you?

List some issues regarding which you have disagreements, and which demand a resolution.

Choose an issue that will take more time to resolve. Explain the situation as you see it.

Some people have learned to use some methods of โ€œweaponryโ€ in resolving a conflict. Which of these are unfair?

What effect does anger have on the resolution of a conflict? What effect does anger have on your relationship?

Finances of the Family

Money! Money is necessary to eat, pay taxes, purchase goods, etc. Your attitude toward money and your previous life experience will have to adapt to the conditions of a future married life. Financial difficulties and losses in marriage may create tension in the marital relationship. Exercises outlined below will help you determine the most complex financial problems and to make realistic plans.

Determine the average income per person of the family in which you grew up in the last five years?

What do you think was the income in the family of your fiancรฉ/fiancรฉe?

What is the average monthly income that will be needed by your family in its first years?

How much will the husband have to earn in the first years of your marriage?

Should the wife work, and if so, how much should she earn? What will initially be the biggest item of expenditure in your family?

Sex in Marriage

Look at what the Word of God says about each of these purposes by reading the following biblical passages and discussing them.

Procreation. Read Genesis 1:28 and Deut. 7:13-14. What words do these verses use in saying that sexual activity for the continuation of reproduction of the human race was predetermined by the plan of God?

Read Psalms 127:3 and Psalms 139:13โ€“15. What understanding of the human sexuality do you obtain while reading these passages?

The birth of a new person and rest. Read Song of Songs 4:10โ€“12 and Proverbs 5:18-19. Are you surprised by the fact that the Holy Scripture actually speaks of pleasure and the gratification of sexual desires as a blessing of God?

Reread Proverbs 5:18-19, remembering that the author used poetic imagery while speaking of sexual attraction, joy, and desires. In the Bible, the favorite symbol for sex is water โ€“ fountains, streams, reservoirs, wells, etc. Do you agree with Proverbs 5:18-19 in that it calls upon the husband and wife to experience a mutual sexual satisfaction? Explain the basis for your opinion.

Read 1 Cor. 7:2. The Apostle Paul here points out one of the purpose of marriage. What is this purpose?

Relationship. Read Genesis 2:24. How do you understand the expression โ€œone flesh?โ€

What do you think about sex?

A popular opinion states that the most sexual organ in the human body is the brain. Do you agree with this statement? Explain in more detail.

What was the first question about sex that you asked your parents? How did they answer you?